BesslerWheel.com

[Michael]

No offense meant. Funny though.

Learn Chinese in 5 Minutes


(Must Read Out Loud)


1) That's not right??????????.Sum Ting Wong

2) Are you harbouring a fugitive????..Hu Yu Hai Ding

3) See me ASAP??????????Kum Hia

4) Stupid Man????????????.Dum Gai

5) Small Horse????????????Tai Ni Po Ni

6) Did you go to the beach???????Wai Yu So Tan

7) I bumped the coffee table??????.Ai Bang Mai Ni

8) I think you need a face lift??????..Chin Tu Fat

9) It's very dark in here????????Wai So Dim

10) I thought you were on a diet?????.Wai Yu Mun Ching

11) This is a tow away zone???????.No Pah King

12) Our meeting is scheduled for next week???WaiYu Kum Nao

13) Staying out of sight????????..Lei Ying Lo

14) He's cleaning his automobile?????Wa Shing Ka

15) Your body odor is offensive?????.Yu Stin Ki Pu

[rlortie]

Michael.

While serving Our country, I had the pleasure of meeting the Me family.

There was Mr. and Mrs. Me, who had a family of four daughters.

There was;
Me to old too
Me no yen too
Me to young too
And my favorite; Me love too.

.

_________________
http://www.arrache.org/

[trevie]

I thought this was quite good.

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[rlortie]

ITALIAN PASTA DIET -- IT REALLY WORKS !!

1.. You walka pasta da bakery.

2.. You walka pasta da candy store.

3.. You walka pasta da Ice Cream shop.

4... You walka pasta da table and fridge.

You will lose weight!

AND......

CONCERNED ABOUT TOO MANY CARBS IN YOUR DIET?

For those of you who watch what you eat,here's the final word on nutrition and health.
It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat
lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

.....CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

[ovyyus]

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.

A young student nurse appears at his bedside to give him a sponge bath.

"Nurse", he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir, I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask her again, "Nurse, are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he may elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles in the other. Then, she takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir!"

The man pulls off his oxygen mask, manages a smile and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but, listen very closely...







A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k?

[fAtnhapy]

A man boards an airplane and takes his seat. As he settles in, he glances up and sees an unbelievably beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realizes she is heading straight towards his seat.
A wave of nervous anticipation washes over him. Lo and behold, she takes the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurts out, "Business trip or vacation?"
She turns, smiles and says, "Business. I'm going to the annual nymphomaniac Convention in Chicago.
Whoa!!! He swallows hard and is instantly crazed with excitement. Here's the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen, sitting RIGHT next to him and she's going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs! Struggling to maintain his outward cool, he calmly asks, "So, what's your business role at this convention?"
"Lecturer", she says, "I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."
"Really," he says, swallowing hard, "what myths are those?"
"Well," she explains, "one popular myth is that African Americans men are the most physically well endowed when, in fact, I have found it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.
"Really" the man says I didn't know that.
"Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it's men of Jewish decent."
"No kidding, I've never heard that."
"And for stamina you just can't beat a southern redneck.
Suddenly, the women becomes very embarrassed and blushes. "I'm sorry," she says, "I really shouldn't be discussing this with you, I don't even know your name!"
"Oh, I'm sorry" says the man says as he extends his hand. "Tonto, Tonto Goldstein but my friends just call me Bubba."
:0)

[Michael]

http://www.rock101.com/shows/bro_jake.cfm?rem=26952&jor=26952&var=morn#morning

[ovyyus]

ROTFLMAO - wipes tears from eyes - you're going straight to hell for that one Michael :D

[Michael]

I know, I'll probably get quite a few red lights too. Well...I didn't make the video...
:)

[trevie]

reminds me of this one...

http://www.mildlyamusing.co.uk/videos/viewvideo.php?image=videos/aliensong.mpeg

[ovyyus]

That's a good one too trevie, but I think Michael's is still closer to the line - lol

[Michael]

Someone just sent me this. Some of these are pretty funny.

http://www.chrudat.com/the_best_cyber_sex.html

[Michael]

The wizard one has me laughing everytime I read it.

[rlortie]

http://www.softlab.ece.ntua.gr/~sivann/pub/swf/may02-smilepop-soapbox4.swf

[ken_behrendt]

Michael...

That cyber sex messaging where "bloodninja" become a wizard was a riot...I laughted so hard that my lungs started to ache! Thanks for the link.


ken

_________________
On 7/6/06, I found, in any overbalanced gravity wheel with rotation rate, ω, axle to CG distance d, and CG dip angle φ, the average vertical velocity of its drive weights is downward and given by:

Vaver = -2(√2)πdωcosφ